August 15, 2012

  • Banff and High School Memories

    From July 22nd to August 11th, I was part of a piano program in Banff, Canada. I honestly didn't know what to expect. I had such a bummed out beginning of the summer that I wasn't particularly hyped up to go to Banff like I normally would have been. I figured that anywhere would make my summer happier than being in Vegas, so I knew I would at least have some fun there. I just had no idea how much of an impression it would leave me with.

    If I had to write up an entire blog on my experience at Banff, it would be way too long. I'm keeping a separate journal of all the details of my days at Banff for myself, since no one would want to read something so long here. Besides this post, I plan to make one more post about Banff in the future on a rather different topic.
    When I look back at my experience at Banff, I now understand why I had the time of my life there. It felt like high school, even though all of my friends were pianists. Even though we were all pretty much adults (well at least in Canada, we are). For the first time since I started college, I felt like I was living again. Like my true old self from high school. 
    Although I am still me, and a lot about me hasn't quite changed... I felt like how I've treated my surroundings had drastically changed since I started college. On a more tangible note, I stopped bullying people and stopped being super hyper and giddy like I was in high school. I didn't feel like I had the right group of friends at NU to be able to let myself out like that. In high school, my friends didn't care. They accepted me for who I was, and despite my craziness, they still had lots of fun being around me. I felt so comfortable. I felt at home with my high school friends, which is something I still have yet to feel with the friends I've made at NU. As a result, I've become more "anti-social" and a lot more quiet. I obediently finished my schoolwork, practiced piano, and worked to make money. I'd hang out with people just to make sure I don't overload myself with stress. As much as I love Chicago to death and the opportunities that I've encountered there... I really miss my old self, and the old community I was once part of.
    I don't know what it was about the people in Banff that gave me the signal to just let loose, and not be so uptight about hanging out with people. Maybe it's because of some of the activities we all did together.
    We played ping pong. Super smash brothers melee and brawl. My friends taught me how to play super mario galaxy and skyward sword from Zelda, two of the games I've been most curious about. We went swimming (where I finally learned to tread water in the deep water!), and hiking plenty of times. Sometimes we'd go hang out in downtown Banff by window shopping and eating good food. We'd watch the beautiful stars on the 6th floor balcony at night. We ate meals together, and we spent so much time together.
    I realized all of these activities had me reminiscing about my high school days. Especially ping pong and super smash. The two things that I loved playing with my friends. Even the level of playing from my Banff friends were similar to the level of playing from my high school friends, haha.
    And this is quite inevitable for someone like me, but the closest friends I made at Banff were guys, just like my group of guy friends in high school. There's just something about me that has a hard time connecting with girls... haha. For the first time since high school I felt like I could act like my normal self around these guys. I missed being a "bro" to them. All of the friends I made reminded me of my high school friends so much, except they are all exceptional in piano.
    Which is what makes these group of people even more amazing. They understand the struggles I go through with piano. There was one time I was with my two closest friends, Wesley and Tiedan, in a studio where we had our first deep conversation. They really wanted me to perform while I was at Banff, but I was too afraid. I couldn't do it... not after seeing the level of playing among my peers. I was frustrated and I let out my problems to them. Yet somehow, they just knew how to comfort me. They made me realize that I need to just let go of that fear; it's a the certain way they said it that really made me wake up for once. Those two are amazing pianists... Wesley goes to NEC, and Tiedan is part of the Columbia/Juilliard joint program. I know they know that I'm not nearly as good as them. But still... they tried to help me out so much. They told me to perform for them. I kept on getting memory slips (why was I even nervous to play for them in the first place? jeez.) but they kept telling me that it was okay. Over a period of time, it got easier to play for them, and I started to relax a little. And a few times, I even received lessons from my friends, which actually became more useful than some of the lessons I received from my professors. Sometimes it's better to receive tips on a piece from your own peers... because they're the ones that actually go through all the effort (and pain >__<) to learn the piece, whereas your professors probably haven't played the piece you're learning in many years, or never at all. 
    And speaking of Wesley and Tiedan... those two really made me feel like I was with my two best friends Bobby and Richard. They were both my middle school friends and then high school friends. It was always the three of us since then. We were like the trio... just like how Wesley, Tiedan and I were the trio in Banff. 
    Richard even reminds me of Tiedan because of their leadership and personality. They are both louder, and knows how to get attention. They were usually the ones that were noticed first. Wesley and Bobby are alike in ways, too. They both seem more passive than Richard and Tiedan, although they may not seem like that as individuals away from the trio. Not to mention that Richard and Bobby were the best of friends, just like Wesley and Tiedan are to each other. 
    What's even more ironic is that Richard and Bobby kept insisting that I learn to swim two summers ago. It took them two weeks to get me to touch the water, but in the end, they taught me how to swim at LVAC, even though the pool only got to 4 1/2 feet deep. Tiedan and Wesley begged me for two weeks to swim as well, and finally I decided to go swimming with them at the very last week. Tiedan ended up teaching me how to tread water in the deep water. The pool was somewhere between 10-12 ft deep, and I was legit swimming and treading water on my own by the end of my time at the pool that day. It was a miracle. 
    Or the times that Richard, Bobby and I would all be in the backseat of Richard's uncle's car after he came to pick us all up from summer school. We would always fool around being the kids we were. Or sometimes, we would all be so pooped that we would just fall asleep the whole car ride home. I was always in the middle, because Richard and Bobby needed more space to sit. -_- And sadly, it was the same when I ended up in the backseat with Tiedan and Wesley. It only happened once, when Qing and his girlfriend invited the three of us to visit Johnston Canyon, which was about half an hour drive away from Banff. 
    I should probably stop this here. All these memories are flowing out of my mind, and the more I write, the harder it is for me to stop. Leaving Banff was probably the most bittersweet of all bittersweet endings I have ever experienced. As I was on the two-hour long shuttle back to the Calgary airport from Banff, I thought about how I was feeling when I was taking the shuttle to Banff on the first day. I remember thinking how the scenery looked so different from where I'm from. I didn't even want to set expectations for Banff or for the people I would eventually meet because I was afraid that I wouldn't meet my expectations. And as I left to the airport, I couldn't believe just how far those expectations exceeded. I wanted to cry that I was leaving, but I was so happy for the memories that I just couldn't. That right there is the definition of bittersweet. 
    I want to relive my Banff experience. I miss waking up to the most wonderful hotel view of Rundle Mountain, or eating right next to a beautiful scenery at the Vistas dining hall. I even miss those darn music huts and random animals that visited Banff Centre. I could probably live without the mosquitos and all of the darn bites I gained though..... but... even those helped mold my experience at Banff.
    Gosh. Why am I such a sentimental person? Because of my sentimentality I know I'll be dwelling in this past for a long time. 
    The worst part is that I don't know when I'll get to see my friends again. I know the ones living around NYC won't be so much of a problem, because I already know I'm going to visit there again soon. But for the others... I don't know. It took me four years to meet Marika again, whom I had no idea was going to be at Banff. For Chelsea, it had been a little over three years. All the other 2008 IIYMers are still lingering on my Facebook. And this might just as well happen for the friends I've met this summer. It sucks. It sucks that you get to bond with them and learn so much about them in such a short amount of time, and then .... we all leave. It's as if everything that happened in Banff was just a dream. When I woke up in my bed the first morning I got back from Banff, I laid there with my eyes open, wondering... was it all really a dream? 
    Banff seriously has a special place in my heart. I am definitely going to apply for next year, but I'm not sure if I'll end up there next summer. I for sure want to have another Banff experience within the next few years.
    I know it's not a good bye for Canada. I'll be back. I just know it.