June 10, 2013

  • happy 7 years, youtube channel.

    Wow. Seven years.

     

    Seven years of making videos, with a growing fan base of 34k subscribers now. Who would've ever thought? 

     

    How I started YouTube is very vague in my memory because it wasn't something I wanted to do intentionally. I discovered YouTube in November 2005 because my best friend at the time wanted me to watch a ridiculous anime clip. On March 2006, I made my own YouTube account since I was watching so many videos there anyway. All throughout middle school I wasted so much of my time watching ridiculous videos on popular websites, like ebaumsworld, i-am-bored, etc. This was before YouTube was even born. And now that everyone and their mothers were posting the same ridiculous videos onto this power website, I had no need to visit the other ones anymore. YouTube was well organized and clean, and had all kinds of genres. 

     

    I stumbled across a bunch of piano covers of popular music which highly interested. Some of the people were decent, and others were well, horrible. I figured I could do something like this, and be better. Furthermore, I wanted to show my friends that I wasn't just about classical music. That I CAN play other types of music. I wasn't very popular in middle school because I was not the typical girl who had slumber parties and painted nails and went shopping at malls with their girlfriends. I resorted to online video games and made online friends. I read books and practiced piano. By the end of middle school, I did have a few close friends, but I believed that the online friends I made were, at times, more valuable. Maybe that's why I was so intrigued by the YouTube online community. 

     

    On June 10, 2006, I recorded three videos back to back. Every Heart, Because I'm a Girl, and Kiss the Rain. They were easy pieces for me, pieces that I can just sightread. I had no idea about how to record or what angle I should use except for the fact that all I had to do was press the record button to start. And that evening, I uploaded the first of three. 

     

    In high school, I was not only known as the pianist who won competitions around Vegas, but also as the "YouTube girl." I had lots of great friends who cared about me and supported me. And by senior year, I started to meet some of my YouTube fans in person, who are now some of the greatest people I've ever met. 

     

    It became weird in college because by the time I entered Northwestern, my YouTube channel was already 4 years old. I made friends who had already discovered my videos in the past, which was kind of crazy. It felt so different from high school because my high school friends actually grew up with me and my YouTube channel. On another note, I was getting interviews here and there from journalism students regarding my YouTube channel. My journey with YouTube at my new school didn't feel as personal anymore because no one here really knew me.

     

    And the biggest reason why things started to get weird for me is because YouTube was no longer the community that I once knew. It's no longer about uploading raw videos to share your passions and interest. Nowadays, you NEED to have high quality video and audio for your videos to attract attention. What used to be a fun hobby for most people is now a professional career for the "YouTube celebrities." People make accounts for the SOLE purpose of becoming famous. It's all about promotions. It's all about having a high production crew and agents to help you out logistically, financially, etc. YouTube celebrities now go on worldwide tours. 

     

    I almost fell into the addiction of achieving fame. At one point between senior year of high school and sophomore year of college, I wanted to be famous on YouTube. I was so dedicated to coming out with the best videos. I even got a high quality mp3 recorder to boost my sound quality. I started making my own arrangements of pieces instead of doing "boring" covers that everyone can easily do. It started to take up so much of my time. When I could be bonding with the new friends I made in college, I was stuck in Lutkin Hall for hours on end trying to capture the perfect video. I also admit that at times, I cried in frustration and threw fits when things didn't go my way during a recording/editing session. 

     

    I finally asked myself, "Why am I doing something that is clearly not making me happy?" The only time I was ever happy was when my subscriber count was going up or when people were leaving me nice comments. I agree that they can be nice ways to motivate yourself to come out with videos, but that shouldn't be your only source of happiness. What I was doing was no longer a fun hobby for me -- it became a mundane routine that I felt obligated to do. And ultimately, I realized that fame wasn't going to bring me ultimate happiness. It's great that I have so many wonderful fans supporting me from all over the world, but the people that are going to impact me the most are the ones closest to me. As a result, at some point in college, I experienced loneliness. And I believe that many celebrities experience this, too. You have so many people supporting you... but not one of them really knows who you are or cares about you on a deeper, personal level. The people that were once your closest friends knew you very well... but because you didn't spend any time with them, they became lost. 

     

    In efforts to turn myself around, I went on a long hiatus from YouTube, which is still continuing to this day. I decided to focus on my real life. I've always had my passion focused on classical music, but now I love it more than ever. I have great friends here at Northwestern, and I still want to keep the best of friends I made in high school. 

     

    Currently, I am "Princess Sherry" of the Super Piano Brothers. In professional terms, I am like their producer and secretary. I helped launch their YouTube channel on my birthday, MAR10 day this year. They have been doing really well and are currently looking into doing more talent competitions when opportunities arise. I've been able to perform with them in big events like ECAASU and APAHM which has been an amazing experience. In some ways, I feel like I'm living vicariously by helping Tiedan and Wesley achieve recognition and fame as the Super Piano Brothers. It's almost ironic to how I feel about my own YouTube channel. 

     

    Although I am saddened by the fact that I do not have time to continue making videos, I am happy that it happened in these past seven years. I am happy for all the great YouTube musicians I have become friends with, who have become like my family (I'm talking about you guys, Kyle, Joanna, Andrew, Julian, Lara, and more, of course!), for all of the great collaborations I've done, for all the opportunities I've had to share my passion in video game and anime music. And most importantly, I am forever grateful for everyone's support in these past years. I am forever grateful for the fans who became inspired to learn or re-learn the piano because of my videos. At this point, I can't even imagine what my life would look like without my YouTube channel. It has become such an integral part of my life (1/3 of my life is definitely a significant portion). And I want to apologize to those who have been waiting patiently for a new video to come out. It's been a very enjoyable journey. I don't want to tell myself that this is the end... because who knows. Maybe I might find the chance to re-inspire myself one of these days.