Changes

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October 14, 2012

Changes

This is already my third year at Northwestern, but a lot has changed... and it's taking me some time getting used to things, and getting back in track with school life.

1. To start off, I live off campus now, at Evanston Place. I live in a den, while my two roommates Esther and Joanne share a bedroom. The apartment is pretty spacious and we have an awesome view of the lake! I love eating Korean food just about everyday and living here in general. I love that everything is so close to me, especially MAB (which is where I practice piano).

2. Speaking of eating Korean food, it's so strange that I get to eat it everyday again, after living off of dorm food for the past two years. Esther's mom is so awesome because she always restocks our fridge with side dishes and other yummy Korean food. As a result, we have never had to make an H-Mart trip. It's so funny that I get to eat so much Korean food now, even though I was so sick of it back in the days. It's even funnier that my sister, who loves Korean food ten times more than I do, is living in a city that has like maybe... one Korean restaurant.

3. I have only one student to accompany for work-study. This is a huge change... especially because I used to accompany so many voice majors at a time. I was making bank! I realize that I should be taking advantage of my work-study, but I decided that even though I need a bit more of a boost financially, practicing for the next two years is going to be crucial. Right now, practicing > making money. I'll just have to starve every so often and pray that I'll be able to make enough for rent. (just kidding.)

4. I barely have any classes. MWF, I only have one class, which is my English class (that I was supposed to have taken as a freshman... haha). Tuesdays and Thursdays aren't even that bad, two classes and my piano lessons. I used to spend so much time in a classroom in any given week and now that I have so few classes, it feels weird to be done after sitting in class for only an hour. I purposely overloaded my classes the past two years so that I can spend more time practicing and getting ready for auditioning for grad schools. So far, all that work I've done in the past two years is paying off.

5. Alan Chow's studio class is completely different. Have the students have graduated this past summer, and so half the studio is brand new. And they are all really good. It was actually nerve racking playing for my studio last week knowing that half the people sitting there have never heard me play... haha. They are all really nice people though, and I can't wait to bond with them for the next two years.

6. Last year, I started teaching for Martha Yelenosky's piano studio. Well, I just started out with teaching her two daughters, Joy and Melody. It wasn't until about 2/3's of the way into sophomore year that I received my very own piano student to teach. This year, I have about 5 more new piano students, while still teaching the three that I had last year. And my teaching schedule is completely different. I used to teach on Fridays and Saturdays and rested on Sundays, but because of AAIV Focus every Friday night, I do not teach on Fridays anymore. I also took Saturdays off because I hated not being able to sleep in on Saturdays (but of course, my boss doesn't know that hehe). Instead, I make up the hours I couldn't teach on Friday and Saturday by teaching on Sunday after I finish teaching all of my own students. So every Sunday after church, I teach from 3-8 PM nonstop. It's quite tiring, but it's also so very rewarding at the same time. I know this is the type of lifestyle I'll probably be going through in the future as a piano teacher, so I might as well get used to it now.

7. This year, I'm the keyboardist on AAIV's Worship Team, and we play every Friday evening at our large group called Focus. We also rehearse from 4-7 PM, and Focus starts at 7 PM and lasts til around 9 or 9:30. It's been such a blessing to be in a praise band. It's such a different field from being a classically trained pianist. You are not the spotlight... God is. You are not performing, expecting people to hear what you play. Instead, the music you produce is creating an atmosphere for others to worship God in. I knew this was a position I had always wanted to try out ever since freshman year, so I'm glad that it's finally time for me to serve the Lord Almighty. I was never really strict about coming out to Focus every Friday evening for the past two years, but I don't really have much of a choice now that it's required for me to go. It's a form of discipline, and I know it might get tiring at times, but I know I'm going to learn a lot spiritually from this discipline.

8. At church, I am the new church van driver!! (along with Brandon and Sunah). I got to drive the van a few times last year, despite everyone's hesitation. I swear I'm an awesome driver! Haha, it's just so funny that I'd do anything to get to drive, since I miss driving so much from back home. It's also kind of intimidating, driving for about 20 some students every Sunday, knowing that you are fully responsible for their lives. The drive to church is about 20-25 minutes from campus. Also, I am a student facilitator for our college ministry's small groups. That means that I hold a position in leading a group of students after the service is over. This is similar to m Peer Adviser position, where I had to lead a group of kids. I'm just a little bit intimidated with this specific position because sometimes I fear that I am not ready for this position spiritually. I don't even know how I even agreed to fulfill this position, I swear it was God telling me to do so. I guess I shouldn't doubt myself so much, even if I feel as though I lack good public speaking skills. If God called me to this position, then surely He thinks I'm capable and ready. And plus it's not even about me, or about how well I can lead/facilitate... it's all about God. He will steer the discussions and conversations every week. He just needs me to trust Him and His Word, that's all.

9. I've joined a brand new small group (we call them Family Groups now) this year. I've been in Shepard's small group for the past two years, and now as an upperclassmen, we get the freedom to join any small group as we please. Minah's small group was the only one that could fit into my schedule since I work almost every weekday. Most of the upperclassmen are inclined to join the small group that they have grown up with for the past two years, so for me, not only are the freshmen in the group new to me but also the upperclassmen. It's not that I don't know the upperclassmen, I just have never gotten the chance to see what it's like to be in a small group with them, so that'll be interesting. Also, for the past two years in small group, I felt like I was well-fed by the upperclassmen, always helping me out when I needed help, etc. I feel like this year, I am taking more initiative in helping out and getting to know the freshmen. It's such a different feel to small group for me because of this new stance I'm taking. I like it though, and I can't wait to see how I'll get to bond with these people over the year.

10. My sister is now a freshman in college, at UNR. It's strange to realize that my brother is the only one remaining in the house. I never could have imagined my sister being in college by herself either, since she was always so dependent on me and my parents. She seems to be doing okay though. I guess when you're thrown into a situation that only you can solve, you have no choice but to solve it, you know? My brother no longer has to put up with arguments and fights with my sister. We're all in different locations now, and I bet that's how things will always be from now on. It's so crazy how fast we are all growing up. By the time I come home in the spring, my brother will be able to pick up from the airport. Now THAT will be weird to me.

In general, it just feels so weird to be halfway done with college already. It's always by junior year where I start to feel as though time is running out too quickly. I feel like I'm already starting to choke on auditions. I remembered how much I hated going through that process last year. I feel as though I could have better prepared myself then, like take lessons with piano professors, which I never got to do in high school. I know that I'll need to do that, which is why I'll be flying to NYC from Nov 17-23 to take some lessons with teachers. So far, I'll be getting a lesson with Prof. Raekallio, and I'm hoping to get in a lesson or two with other teachers. I'm scared because I know graduate school is more important then undergrad. And it sucks because if we include taking lesson with professors and picking out our audition repertoire, the whole process of applying for grad school begins NOW, as a junior. No more frolicking and wandering around like a confused college freshman. Sigh.

But, I'm going to try not to think too far into the future... since that only scares me. I'm going to do my best to take things one step at a time, day by day, week by week. Everything will be okay, as long as I cast my fears away and trust in the Lord.