It is just incredibly hard to believe that Xanga will be shutting down tomorrow. This may be the last time I will be logging onto Xanga, and this may be the very last post I will be writing here. 

Many of my friends have had Xanga but I don't know very many people who have continued to write even to this day. Just like the flow of traffic, they have all moved onto greater social websites, namely Tumblr, Instagram, Pinterest, and more. I don't exactly know why I never followed that flow. Perhaps it is the fact that Xanga felt like one of my best friends, and I didn't want to abandon it and leave it behind. 

Xanga has seen me grow from an immature and naive child, to an angsty teenager, and now to a full-fledged, legal adult. I can't say that many people have seen me grow up like that.

Xanga is by far the oldest best friend I have. I've had Xanga before I met my lifelong best friend, Jihye, and definitely way before I met my love, Tiedan. 

Xanga was there before my epic gaming days that officially started on July 3rd, 2004. 

Xanga was there several years before I even started my YouTube channel, which became a huge part of my life and my identity.

Xanga was there to hear me rant about everything, and blabber about nothing. 

Xanga was there even before the first time I've starting dating dumb guys. 

Xanga was there before I even owned my first cellphone and first laptop. 

Xanga was there before my Myspace and Facebook days.

Xanga was there when my siblings were in 1st and 4th grade, and now my brother is the last one left to finish high school. 

Xanga was there as the first "person" I went to when I couldn't hold in my frustration or anger. 

And most of all, Xanga was there to hold all the good memories for me, especially since my brain can only hold so much vividly.

Xanga accurately shows that I can go from tYpInG lYk DiS, with horrible and incomprehensible grammar, to writing in complete thoughts, divided by sentences and paragraphs. 

Xanga accurately shows my growth as a pianist -- the struggles that I've faced and the glorious moments I have achieved.

Xanga accurately provides the dates to my memories. When my own memory failed me as I was working on my resume during senior year of high school, I had to look back to Xanga to help me remember when certain events had happened. 

I thank Xanga for being there when I was lonely because I had no friends. I also thank Xanga for being there when I was lonely because I had "too many" friends. 

And although I won't have Xanga physically any longer, I will continue to write... whether I find another online blogging site like Livejournal, or write for my own personal uses on Microsoft Word. It is my own mother who has shown me to record down my thoughts, ever since she bought me my first diary for my 10th birthday. And I am so forever grateful that even more than a decade later, I am still writing. 

If words and actions can reveal my state of being,

and music can reveal my passion and drive,

then words can most definitely reveal my thoughts, my emotions, my i m a g i n a t i o n. 

It has truly been an exhilarating 9 years, 1 month, and 13 days. Or in Xanga's words: "Hi xsherryxkimx! It's been 3331 (wow, that's a big number) days since you joined Xanga…"

Thank you.

It is just incredibly hard to believe that Xanga will be shutting down tomorrow. This may be the last time I will be logging onto Xanga, and this may be the very last post I will be writing here. 

Many of my friends have had Xanga but I don't know very many people who have continued to write even to this day. Just like the flow of traffic, they have all moved onto greater social websites, namely Tumblr, Instagram, Pinterest, and more. I don't exactly know why I never followed that flow. Perhaps it is the fact that Xanga felt like one of my best friends, and I didn't want to abandon it and leave it behind. 

Xanga has seen me grow from an immature and naive child, to an angsty teenager, and now to a full-fledged, legal adult. I can't say that many people have seen me grow up like that.

Xanga is by far the oldest best friend I have. I've had Xanga before I met my lifelong best friend, Jihye, and definitely way before I met my love, Tiedan. 

Xanga was there before my epic gaming days that officially started on July 3rd, 2004. 

Xanga was there several years before I even started my YouTube channel, which became a huge part of my life and my identity.

Xanga was there to hear me rant about everything, and blabber about nothing. 

Xanga was there even before the first time I've starting dating dumb guys. 

Xanga was there before I even owned my first cellphone and first laptop. 

Xanga was there before my Myspace and Facebook days.

Xanga was there when my siblings were in 1st and 4th grade, and now my brother is the last one left to finish high school. 

Xanga was there as the first "person" I went to when I couldn't hold in my frustration or anger. 

And most of all, Xanga was there to hold all the good memories for me, especially since my brain can only hold so much vividly.

Xanga accurately shows that I can go from tYpInG lYk DiS, with horrible and incomprehensible grammar, to writing in complete thoughts, divided by sentences and paragraphs. 

Xanga accurately shows my growth as a pianist -- the struggles that I've faced and the glorious moments I have achieved.

Xanga accurately provides the dates to my memories. When my own memory failed me as I was working on my resume during senior year of high school, I had to look back to Xanga to help me remember when certain events had happened. 

I thank Xanga for being there when I was lonely because I had no friends. I also thank Xanga for being there when I was lonely because I had "too many" friends. 

And although I won't have Xanga physically any longer, I will continue to write... whether I find another online blogging site like Livejournal, or write for my own personal uses on Microsoft Word. It is my own mother who has shown me to record down my thoughts, ever since she bought me my first diary for my 10th birthday. And I am so forever grateful that even more than a decade later, I am still writing. 

If words and actions can reveal my state of being,

and music can reveal my passion and drive,

then words can most definitely reveal my thoughts, my emotions, my i m a g i n a t i o n. 

It has truly been an exhilarating 9 years, 1 month, and 13 days. Or in Xanga's words: "Hi xsherryxkimx! It's been 3331 (wow, that's a big number) days since you joined Xanga…"

Thank you.

It's been three weeks since I came to Aspen. I still have another five more weeks to go here, but I know that's going to go by in a flash.

If anything, my experience in Aspen so far reminds me of college, especially my junior year since I barely had any classes.

Work. I worked a lot at Northwestern to fend for myself since my parents didn't help me at all financially this past year. And even here, I'm working a lot -- I'm ushering concerts four times a week, including an additional 1 or 2 opera sessions. I just got my first paycheck last Friday, and I'm due for another next Friday. I'm going to need this so I can pay off the rest of my summer sublet back in Chicago and for the expensive lessons that I get with Prof. Kang.

Practicing. I probably practice harder here, but trying to figure out when to practice reminds me a lot of my schedule back at Northwestern. Every little free time I had was spent towards practicing. Also, finding practice rooms can also be a pain...

Chamber music. I love that I can continue my chamber music studies here. I am currently working on the Mahler Quartet (the tune might be familiar if you've watched Shutter Island) and will be performing with my group next Thursday! We will only have had two coachings on the piece before our performance... talk about high level performers here! Also, I'm in a piano duet class and I am working on some duets with my 16-year-old friend, Antoine. We're playing a few Dvorak's Slavonic Dances from his Op. 72 collections. We will also be performing those some time this month. I was planning on taking the two-piano course at Northwestern, but seeing as how busy I am with chamber, four-hand, and solo work here, I don't think it would be a good idea to overload myself during my senior year. As much as I want to experience playing two-piano repertoire, I think taking chamber music will suffice. 

Lessons and studio clases. All the same, just as Northwestern, but more intense. I get lessons with both Kaplinsky and Kang (privately paid). I've also had a master class with Kang last Friday so yay for free lesson! And I attended the first studio class this past Monday and the level of playing is so much more intense than NU... I don't even want to play in studio class anymore. T__T I might just be better off with signing up for a small recital that no one is going to LOL. 

Aspen's campus is similar to that of Northwestern. The main campus is a 15-minute bus ride away from where I live in downtown Aspen. And the music tent is on the opposite of town, about a 10-minute bike ride. This spread of different places makes it feel like a college campus. Lots of buses, biking, walking... yeah. Also, because there are 600 some music students at this festival, it's very hard to bond with people here... just like college. 

And I know I shouldn't be comparing, but I still miss Banff. It's been almost exactly a year since my visit there. And Banff was just everything magical. It felt like high school but even better because we were all pianists. We did everything together -- hiking, swimming, playing Smash, etc. I hiked almost everyday, and had lots of fun. I still did practice a lot... just not the last half of the session. And I know exactly why I decided to go to Aspen instead of Banff... I needed a place where I was going to work hard for a long period of time to get ready for my grad school auditions this coming year. I can't afford to lose time this summer. I just miss everything about Banff.... it's just funny that I'm "homesick" for that and not for my actual home in Vegas or even Chicago. 

And I guess the biggest letdown of Aspen is that my boyfriend is not there. It was Banff where I met him and where we got to bond. He could've gone to Aspen, and it would've been so awesome if he did. We would've been in the same studio... which probably will never happen otherwise. We would actually go hiking together, and swimming, and everything we did but more since there's so much to do in Aspen. He would definitely get me to meet more people and hang out with them especially since I'm the type to just focus on my work and not play around so much. And for once, we would be in the same town, same place for a very long period of time. But I understand that he has his obligations and I have mine. I hope though, that there will be a summer where we can spend it together at a music festival. Summertime is very magical for me now ever since Banff happened, but I'm just not feeling it here in Aspen.

I know Aspen will definitely be worth it for me as a student and pianist, but would it be just as memorable as IIYM, Saarburg, and Banff? Only time will tell.

It's been three weeks since I came to Aspen. I still have another five more weeks to go here, but I know that's going to go by in a flash.

If anything, my experience in Aspen so far reminds me of college, especially my junior year since I barely had any classes.

Work. I worked a lot at Northwestern to fend for myself since my parents didn't help me at all financially this past year. And even here, I'm working a lot -- I'm ushering concerts four times a week, including an additional 1 or 2 opera sessions. I just got my first paycheck last Friday, and I'm due for another next Friday. I'm going to need this so I can pay off the rest of my summer sublet back in Chicago and for the expensive lessons that I get with Prof. Kang.

Practicing. I probably practice harder here, but trying to figure out when to practice reminds me a lot of my schedule back at Northwestern. Every little free time I had was spent towards practicing. Also, finding practice rooms can also be a pain...

Chamber music. I love that I can continue my chamber music studies here. I am currently working on the Mahler Quartet (the tune might be familiar if you've watched Shutter Island) and will be performing with my group next Thursday! We will only have had two coachings on the piece before our performance... talk about high level performers here! Also, I'm in a piano duet class and I am working on some duets with my 16-year-old friend, Antoine. We're playing a few Dvorak's Slavonic Dances from his Op. 72 collections. We will also be performing those some time this month. I was planning on taking the two-piano course at Northwestern, but seeing as how busy I am with chamber, four-hand, and solo work here, I don't think it would be a good idea to overload myself during my senior year. As much as I want to experience playing two-piano repertoire, I think taking chamber music will suffice. 

Lessons and studio clases. All the same, just as Northwestern, but more intense. I get lessons with both Kaplinsky and Kang (privately paid). I've also had a master class with Kang last Friday so yay for free lesson! And I attended the first studio class this past Monday and the level of playing is so much more intense than NU... I don't even want to play in studio class anymore. T__T I might just be better off with signing up for a small recital that no one is going to LOL. 

Aspen's campus is similar to that of Northwestern. The main campus is a 15-minute bus ride away from where I live in downtown Aspen. And the music tent is on the opposite of town, about a 10-minute bike ride. This spread of different places makes it feel like a college campus. Lots of buses, biking, walking... yeah. Also, because there are 600 some music students at this festival, it's very hard to bond with people here... just like college. 

And I know I shouldn't be comparing, but I still miss Banff. It's been almost exactly a year since my visit there. And Banff was just everything magical. It felt like high school but even better because we were all pianists. We did everything together -- hiking, swimming, playing Smash, etc. I hiked almost everyday, and had lots of fun. I still did practice a lot... just not the last half of the session. And I know exactly why I decided to go to Aspen instead of Banff... I needed a place where I was going to work hard for a long period of time to get ready for my grad school auditions this coming year. I can't afford to lose time this summer. I just miss everything about Banff.... it's just funny that I'm "homesick" for that and not for my actual home in Vegas or even Chicago. 

And I guess the biggest letdown of Aspen is that my boyfriend is not there. It was Banff where I met him and where we got to bond. He could've gone to Aspen, and it would've been so awesome if he did. We would've been in the same studio... which probably will never happen otherwise. We would actually go hiking together, and swimming, and everything we did but more since there's so much to do in Aspen. He would definitely get me to meet more people and hang out with them especially since I'm the type to just focus on my work and not play around so much. And for once, we would be in the same town, same place for a very long period of time. But I understand that he has his obligations and I have mine. I hope though, that there will be a summer where we can spend it together at a music festival. Summertime is very magical for me now ever since Banff happened, but I'm just not feeling it here in Aspen.

I know Aspen will definitely be worth it for me as a student and pianist, but would it be just as memorable as IIYM, Saarburg, and Banff? Only time will tell.

nostalgia at its finest.

everything happened nine years ago.

FFR (june 16), Xanga (june 17), and runescape (july 3rd). 

pretty much sums up who i am other than the default answer: pianist.

my love for rhythm/dance games, my love for writing, and my love for games and online folks. 

everything is coming to an end.

i've lost my password to FFR and runescape. i'm pretty much retiring my YouTube account. and now, xanga is shutting down in 9 days.

so my apologies for not writing a post about my current life (go to facebook for that, lol) and only focusing on my past, but...

i have nine days to sum up nine years worth of memories.

i can't even.

wow.

nostalgia at its finest.

everything happened nine years ago.

FFR (june 16), Xanga (june 17), and runescape (july 3rd). 

pretty much sums up who i am other than the default answer: pianist.

my love for rhythm/dance games, my love for writing, and my love for games and online folks. 

everything is coming to an end.

i've lost my password to FFR and runescape. i'm pretty much retiring my YouTube account. and now, xanga is shutting down in 9 days.

so my apologies for not writing a post about my current life (go to facebook for that, lol) and only focusing on my past, but...

i have nine days to sum up nine years worth of memories.

i can't even.

wow.

Today is another special date. On July 3rd, nine year ago, I made my first Runescape account, the legendary Yukino120. 

I looked back at my old Xanga posts and I thought I would've written about how I started Runescape back in 2004 but I guess I didn't. I suppose it wasn't much of an event at the time, especially since I was kind of forced to join, thanks to my middle school friend, Priscilla. The only reason why I even gave in to joining was because she kept telling me, "But Johnny is playing Runescape too... *wink wink nudge nudge*". It was at the time I had the hugest crush on him, so of course I couldn't turn it down.

But Runescape was more of game to me. Yes, I know people never liked the game because of its horrible graphics and anti-climatic fighting styles, but I could really care less. And looking back at all of the MMORPGs I've played, even though all the others were perhaps more exciting, it was only Runescape that moved me on an emotional level. 

I know, I know. I sound like a super nerd. But here's why:

I've always had the hardest time making friends, especially in middle school. I was perhaps a little socially awkward especially since I didn't interact with people much growing up. I practiced lots, read lots of books, and if I wanted to have fun, I would play around my neighborhood with my siblings. When I had started Runescape, it was the summer after 6th grade had ended. I only really had two close friends, Priscilla and well, of course, Johnny. It wasn't until the latter half of 7th grade where I started to gain a lot more friends. 

I started out playing alongside with Priscilla and Johnny towards the beginning. But shortly after, I carved out my own path. Johnny was a much higher level, so he was busy doing his own thing in the game, and Priscilla lost interest early on. I begun to venture out and started to make my own online friends. With these friends, I began to shape my own little world inside the game. 

I felt like I had two lives throughout middle school. As a student, I interacted with people when I needed to. I did my work, and practiced piano. But once I logged onto Runescape, it was as if I was entering a new side of me. There, I was able to interact with my online friends on a much deeper level than I ever got to with my real life friends. I was able to tell some of them my personal problems, and let them know how I was feeling emotionally, which rarely ever happened with my school friends. I also got to hear a lot of their personal stories too. 

Heather was (at the time) a 21-year-old, from New York if I'm not mistaken. She was in the process of recovering from a bad accident as a firefighter. She took care of my sister a lot in game, and was like a mother to her. 

Leo and Rex, from Indiana, were the Chinese twins that were so adorable. They were also energetic and positive and they supported me in whatever I did. They were a year younger than me.

Jaypee and Terence, the two cousins from Singapore. They were I believe two years younger than me, and they were like my little brothers. It was always cute when they tried their best to protect me in situations but I'd always have to care for them in the end. 

Jenny was my best girl friend in game. She was two years younger than me and from Seattle. She was the brightest kid I've ever met. She was always one step ahead of me, and even when we competed, she'd always win. She's one of the only friends that I'm still friends with to this day (on Facebook). So it's no surprise to me that she got into MIT and just finished her first year of college. I hope one day I can meet her in person, and I know I will whenever I visit Boston again. 

Lastly, Kyle. He was only 5 months older than me, but where he's from (North Carolina), he was a year ahead of me in school. He was definitely like that big older brother I wish I had. He was my best guy friend in game. And unlike Jenny, even though Kyle was always better than me, he used that advantage to guide me as a little sister trying to get better. He is the other friend that I'm friends with on Facebook to this day.

There are so many more friends that I would list but these people made the most impact in my Runescape life. And I would have to say that these friends meant more to me than the friends I made in 6th grade and part of 7th grade. 

Runescape was like a storybook for me. Unlike other MMORPGs, where all you do is grind to level up, Runescape truly allowed me to create my own story. There were so many adventures I went on that I can recount even to this day. So many moments of frustration, but at the same time, so many periods of happiness. In Runescape, there is a major risk to dying (from another player, or from a monster). You lose everything in your inventory, even armor and weapon that you equip. So, going out to battles or on adventures were always serious and felt life-threatening, which made my gaming experience so much more realistic. I never really worried about dying in other games because there weren't any severe risks attached to it. That may be another reason why I thought all the other MMORPGs I've played felt just like another game to me.

There was a dark period where I got hacked and lost almost everything. It was a stupid mistake I made by giving a friend my password thinking that they could make me a member (which gets 10x more benefits in the Runescape world). It taught me a life lesson about the online world. Never ever tell people your password or any other important information. Sounds like a "duh" moment now, but as a 12 year old, maybe not so much.

Runescape did end up taking up a LOT of my time in middle school. On some weekends, I averaged 8-12 hours of Runescape. I remember days where I would stay up to 3 AM playing. Of course, I always kept one ear open to make sure my parents wouldn't catch me. Or days I would wake up at 5 AM to get in a few hours before school. I was crazy about this game, it's ridiculous. But another reason why I did that was for the friends I made around the world. With different time zones, it was always hard to meet up with them in my normal day time hours. 

Man, I wish I can write down all those memories I had in-game, but it would take way too long to list. Oh, the carefree days....

And now that I think about it, it wasn't YouTube that started my love for online people. It was Runescape. Thanks to the game, I already knew how to interact with online people that I met through YouTube. And some of the greatest friends that I have to this day are people that I just met through the internet. 

It's just an interesting concept that someone thousands and thousands of miles away from you actually cares about you on perhaps a much deeper level than they would to a friend at school or work. I've learned so much more about other people's cultures than I ever would in any given history class. And what I've figured out is that the distance at which you are to a friend does not equate to your level of closeness with them. Which means that someone from your own school can be just as much of a stranger to you as a person from Germany. 

Sometimes I think back to how much time I spent gaming in middle school when I could've practiced harder and thrived as a growing, maturing pianist. Sometimes I shake my head in regret, knowing that I could be at a better place right now in my life. But at the same time, I don't think I would be the same person today without Runescape. It was that single game that shaped so much of who I am now, including my gamer girl side. Without my love for games, I wouldn't have been so interested in keeping up with a YouTube account. And without a YouTube account, I would've never discovered my love for video game music. And if I had never cared for that, I would have never gotten the chance to bond with my boyfriend now, who also has a passion for video game music. See how everything works out? I wouldn't have it any other way.

Cheers to July 3rd, 2004. 

Today is another special date. On July 3rd, nine year ago, I made my first Runescape account, the legendary Yukino120. 

I looked back at my old Xanga posts and I thought I would've written about how I started Runescape back in 2004 but I guess I didn't. I suppose it wasn't much of an event at the time, especially since I was kind of forced to join, thanks to my middle school friend, Priscilla. The only reason why I even gave in to joining was because she kept telling me, "But Johnny is playing Runescape too... *wink wink nudge nudge*". It was at the time I had the hugest crush on him, so of course I couldn't turn it down.

But Runescape was more of game to me. Yes, I know people never liked the game because of its horrible graphics and anti-climatic fighting styles, but I could really care less. And looking back at all of the MMORPGs I've played, even though all the others were perhaps more exciting, it was only Runescape that moved me on an emotional level. 

I know, I know. I sound like a super nerd. But here's why:

I've always had the hardest time making friends, especially in middle school. I was perhaps a little socially awkward especially since I didn't interact with people much growing up. I practiced lots, read lots of books, and if I wanted to have fun, I would play around my neighborhood with my siblings. When I had started Runescape, it was the summer after 6th grade had ended. I only really had two close friends, Priscilla and well, of course, Johnny. It wasn't until the latter half of 7th grade where I started to gain a lot more friends. 

I started out playing alongside with Priscilla and Johnny towards the beginning. But shortly after, I carved out my own path. Johnny was a much higher level, so he was busy doing his own thing in the game, and Priscilla lost interest early on. I begun to venture out and started to make my own online friends. With these friends, I began to shape my own little world inside the game. 

I felt like I had two lives throughout middle school. As a student, I interacted with people when I needed to. I did my work, and practiced piano. But once I logged onto Runescape, it was as if I was entering a new side of me. There, I was able to interact with my online friends on a much deeper level than I ever got to with my real life friends. I was able to tell some of them my personal problems, and let them know how I was feeling emotionally, which rarely ever happened with my school friends. I also got to hear a lot of their personal stories too. 

Heather was (at the time) a 21-year-old, from New York if I'm not mistaken. She was in the process of recovering from a bad accident as a firefighter. She took care of my sister a lot in game, and was like a mother to her. 

Leo and Rex, from Indiana, were the Chinese twins that were so adorable. They were also energetic and positive and they supported me in whatever I did. They were a year younger than me.

Jaypee and Terence, the two cousins from Singapore. They were I believe two years younger than me, and they were like my little brothers. It was always cute when they tried their best to protect me in situations but I'd always have to care for them in the end. 

Jenny was my best girl friend in game. She was two years younger than me and from Seattle. She was the brightest kid I've ever met. She was always one step ahead of me, and even when we competed, she'd always win. She's one of the only friends that I'm still friends with to this day (on Facebook). So it's no surprise to me that she got into MIT and just finished her first year of college. I hope one day I can meet her in person, and I know I will whenever I visit Boston again. 

Lastly, Kyle. He was only 5 months older than me, but where he's from (North Carolina), he was a year ahead of me in school. He was definitely like that big older brother I wish I had. He was my best guy friend in game. And unlike Jenny, even though Kyle was always better than me, he used that advantage to guide me as a little sister trying to get better. He is the other friend that I'm friends with on Facebook to this day.

There are so many more friends that I would list but these people made the most impact in my Runescape life. And I would have to say that these friends meant more to me than the friends I made in 6th grade and part of 7th grade. 

Runescape was like a storybook for me. Unlike other MMORPGs, where all you do is grind to level up, Runescape truly allowed me to create my own story. There were so many adventures I went on that I can recount even to this day. So many moments of frustration, but at the same time, so many periods of happiness. In Runescape, there is a major risk to dying (from another player, or from a monster). You lose everything in your inventory, even armor and weapon that you equip. So, going out to battles or on adventures were always serious and felt life-threatening, which made my gaming experience so much more realistic. I never really worried about dying in other games because there weren't any severe risks attached to it. That may be another reason why I thought all the other MMORPGs I've played felt just like another game to me.

There was a dark period where I got hacked and lost almost everything. It was a stupid mistake I made by giving a friend my password thinking that they could make me a member (which gets 10x more benefits in the Runescape world). It taught me a life lesson about the online world. Never ever tell people your password or any other important information. Sounds like a "duh" moment now, but as a 12 year old, maybe not so much.

Runescape did end up taking up a LOT of my time in middle school. On some weekends, I averaged 8-12 hours of Runescape. I remember days where I would stay up to 3 AM playing. Of course, I always kept one ear open to make sure my parents wouldn't catch me. Or days I would wake up at 5 AM to get in a few hours before school. I was crazy about this game, it's ridiculous. But another reason why I did that was for the friends I made around the world. With different time zones, it was always hard to meet up with them in my normal day time hours. 

Man, I wish I can write down all those memories I had in-game, but it would take way too long to list. Oh, the carefree days....

And now that I think about it, it wasn't YouTube that started my love for online people. It was Runescape. Thanks to the game, I already knew how to interact with online people that I met through YouTube. And some of the greatest friends that I have to this day are people that I just met through the internet. 

It's just an interesting concept that someone thousands and thousands of miles away from you actually cares about you on perhaps a much deeper level than they would to a friend at school or work. I've learned so much more about other people's cultures than I ever would in any given history class. And what I've figured out is that the distance at which you are to a friend does not equate to your level of closeness with them. Which means that someone from your own school can be just as much of a stranger to you as a person from Germany. 

Sometimes I think back to how much time I spent gaming in middle school when I could've practiced harder and thrived as a growing, maturing pianist. Sometimes I shake my head in regret, knowing that I could be at a better place right now in my life. But at the same time, I don't think I would be the same person today without Runescape. It was that single game that shaped so much of who I am now, including my gamer girl side. Without my love for games, I wouldn't have been so interested in keeping up with a YouTube account. And without a YouTube account, I would've never discovered my love for video game music. And if I had never cared for that, I would have never gotten the chance to bond with my boyfriend now, who also has a passion for video game music. See how everything works out? I wouldn't have it any other way.

Cheers to July 3rd, 2004. 

A few weeks ago, I was able to spend a week in Los Angeles as it was my only week to just chill and not practice piano for once. 

I only went to LA because my boyfriend really wanted me to visit him since he was working on his internship there, specifically around Beverly Hills/Century City. To be honest, if it wasn't for him, I would've never gone. I never liked LA. I hated Socal people (and Vegas people, since they are very similar), and I hated the lifestyle that was associated with them. And I'm talking about the stereotypical laidback, parties at the beach lifestyle. I've always heared about the underground scene at K-town and how college students love to just chill at the beach. And after living far away from the west coast, I realized how much more I despised the Southwest portion of the US. I could go on and on about my reasons of why I never liked LA. But let me stop here and explain what had happened that week...

It was that week that made me realize that although those stereotypes may be true, I was so ignorant that I couldn't even look at all the good memories I had in Socal in the past decade. I know my boyfriend must have been so tired of me being so nostalgic all the time, because literally everywhere I went, I had to point out another memory I had with my family and friends from the past. 

1. I got to meet old friends like Daren, my long-time duet partner, Charvin, one of my closest YouTube buddies, and Chris, one of my best friends from high school. I also got to meet new friends, like Chris' girlfriend, and Joyce Oh, who's not really new, but sort of since I only met her at my church in Chicago. Daren and Charvin are two that I've hung out with already in LA the last time I went, which was my senior year of high school. It was my first time hanging out with Chris in LA. It was weird hanging out with him in a new environment, and seeing that he was driving me around this time, especially since I was always the driver.

2. In N Out. Enough said.

3. Disneyland. It was my third time going, but my first time with my boyfriend (it was also his first time!). Everything about that theme park was nostalgic for me. The first time I went was when I was still in elementary school. It was with my family and we went to both sides of the park. I remember I got to experience my first rollercoaster with a loop (Soarin' Over California). Then the next time I went was with my 7th grade classmates as a "back-to-school" trip. We only visited the Disneyland side, and as a 12-year-old, it was so much fun just roaming around in the park without any parents. So it had been nearly a decade since the last time I went, but a lot of these rides that I rode with my boyfriend were still so vivid in my head. Ironically, even though the park is aimed for little kids, I think it was most enjoyable for me this time around. This time I was with someone that I cared about a lot, and moving around in the park was so much easier with just the two of us, instead of a whole pack of friends or my whole family. We had no time limits, so we got to stay until midnight and saw the fireworks, which was my first time ever. It was also my first time having to drive to Anaheim and back, which was exhausting. It made me think back on all the times my dad drove my family around and he never once complained about how tired he was. 

3. And speaking of which, I need to explain about driving. I rented a car for four days and it was thanks to a car that my boyfriend and I had lots to do around Socal. It was expensive, and I even gained a freaking parking ticket, but it was well worth it in the end. I was at first intimidated driving in the streets of LA, but when I realized that my aggressive driving personality actually fit in with the crazy drivers there, I no longer seemed scared. But it did make me think back on all the times my dad drove. How I used to beg my mom if I could sit in the shotgun seat, for the sole purpose of reading signs and talking to my dad about driving and cars. So a lot of these streets around K-town (Western, Pico, Olympic, etc.) were very familiar to me even though it's been so long since I've been there. And as I got older, my dad and I would play the ETA (estimated time of arrival) game. I would calculate in my head the time it would take for the remaining number of miles left in the journey. After some practice, I got really good at it, but never as good as my dad. Then again, he can always control the speed at which he is driving, so he always won... -__- Anyway, driving around LA really made me appreciate my dad and what he did for us for our annual trips to LA. My dad still drives a lot, since he's a taxi driver in Vegas, but I know his driving lifestyle is slowly coming to an end as he is getting older and older. And even the last time I went to LA in my senior year of high school, my dad let me drive the whole way. I don't know when my family will make another trip out since it's hard to get all five of us in the same city for a long period of time, but I just know that my dad won't be responsible for all the driving anymore. It's a sad realization... but I'm just grateful for my dad for being my dad. For being a hero in my family.

4. And K-town. Koreatown was always the place my family went to year after year. We went there because back then, Vegas didn't have a major Korean supermarket and if we wanted to buy anything, it was always so much more expensive than in LA. So my parents, would save up money and then we would spend so much. Usually we were in K-town anywhere from 1-2 days, so we really went crazy with shopping. I remember going to Assi one time and my parents stocked up three carts full and spent more than a thousand dollars in total. I remember being so excited to be in LA, but at the same time, so bored that I had to always follow my parents around. My siblings and I ended up creating our own games and causing mischief around the stores. I still remember times we would attempt to play hide-and-seek inside one of those really cramped and small Korean stores. Or the times we would go up and down the elevator inside Koreatown Mall because it was see through and was the coolest thing ever. Back then they had a humungous music store, and by the time I was around 5-7th grade, I would go there with the sole purpose of listening to all the techno and trance and K-pop CDs. And after tons of begging, my mom would finally let me buy some of the CDs. Before the iPod age, I had a CD player, and after buying those CDs, I would always listen to the entire album multiple times on our trip back to Vegas. I'm so sad that the music store no longer exists in the mall, and the mall has gone through lots of renovation since a decade ago. 

5. Classical music. Everytime I'd be driving around, my boyfriend and I would go through all the radio stations trying to find a good one to listen to. It was too bad neither of us had an auxiliary cable to use, so all we had was the radio. There were many times we would stop at the classical station because nothing else was good. But it made me so happy knowing that I can share my love for classical music with him, who is also a classical music fanatic. It reminded me of all those times when my dad would ONLY make us listen to classical music. We weren't ever allowed to change it. And when we were passing through different districts and areas of California, my dad would always have to find a different station that had classical music. Our car was always filled with the same kind of music but because of that, it has definitely shaped my experiences when traveling to LA. I also remember during my angsty middle school years, I was so annoyed with the constant classical music that was playing in the car that I always brought my CD player along with me so I could blast K-pop or techno music to drown out the sounds of the "mundane" strings. This time around, however, listening to classical music felt so peaceful. I felt at home. It made me wish that my dad and the rest of my family was in the car with me. I miss all the times my dad would lecture me about a composer or a piece of music he recognized. I miss all the times I tried to change the radio station and my dad would hit my hand haha. 

Of course I had lots of new memories that I made this time around, like hiking at Runyon Canyon and Escondido Falls in Malibu, walking around Hollywood Blvd and spending time in Santa Monica Beach and Pier. And I'm glad I have new memories because I know that if I ever visit these places again in the future, I'll have something to base my experience off of. 

I wanted to continue hating on Socal because I've been doing that for so long, especially during my high school years. And even though those feelings may still hold to be true, I finally get to remember that it was LA where I formed lots of great memories. All the theme parks I've been, to shopping in K-town, to going to the beaches and more. I'm so thankful for this trip because I've learned to appreciate lots of things. 

Annual family trips and school trips with friends are over. It makes me so sad to think that a big chapter in my life has closed... but I'm excited for what this new one has to offer. I don't know when I'll be back in Socal, but I'll make sure to look forward to it because all of my trips to LA are awesome. 

'Til next time.

A few weeks ago, I was able to spend a week in Los Angeles as it was my only week to just chill and not practice piano for once. 

I only went to LA because my boyfriend really wanted me to visit him since he was working on his internship there, specifically around Beverly Hills/Century City. To be honest, if it wasn't for him, I would've never gone. I never liked LA. I hated Socal people (and Vegas people, since they are very similar), and I hated the lifestyle that was associated with them. And I'm talking about the stereotypical laidback, parties at the beach lifestyle. I've always heared about the underground scene at K-town and how college students love to just chill at the beach. And after living far away from the west coast, I realized how much more I despised the Southwest portion of the US. I could go on and on about my reasons of why I never liked LA. But let me stop here and explain what had happened that week...

It was that week that made me realize that although those stereotypes may be true, I was so ignorant that I couldn't even look at all the good memories I had in Socal in the past decade. I know my boyfriend must have been so tired of me being so nostalgic all the time, because literally everywhere I went, I had to point out another memory I had with my family and friends from the past. 

1. I got to meet old friends like Daren, my long-time duet partner, Charvin, one of my closest YouTube buddies, and Chris, one of my best friends from high school. I also got to meet new friends, like Chris' girlfriend, and Joyce Oh, who's not really new, but sort of since I only met her at my church in Chicago. Daren and Charvin are two that I've hung out with already in LA the last time I went, which was my senior year of high school. It was my first time hanging out with Chris in LA. It was weird hanging out with him in a new environment, and seeing that he was driving me around this time, especially since I was always the driver.

2. In N Out. Enough said.

3. Disneyland. It was my third time going, but my first time with my boyfriend (it was also his first time!). Everything about that theme park was nostalgic for me. The first time I went was when I was still in elementary school. It was with my family and we went to both sides of the park. I remember I got to experience my first rollercoaster with a loop (Soarin' Over California). Then the next time I went was with my 7th grade classmates as a "back-to-school" trip. We only visited the Disneyland side, and as a 12-year-old, it was so much fun just roaming around in the park without any parents. So it had been nearly a decade since the last time I went, but a lot of these rides that I rode with my boyfriend were still so vivid in my head. Ironically, even though the park is aimed for little kids, I think it was most enjoyable for me this time around. This time I was with someone that I cared about a lot, and moving around in the park was so much easier with just the two of us, instead of a whole pack of friends or my whole family. We had no time limits, so we got to stay until midnight and saw the fireworks, which was my first time ever. It was also my first time having to drive to Anaheim and back, which was exhausting. It made me think back on all the times my dad drove my family around and he never once complained about how tired he was. 

3. And speaking of which, I need to explain about driving. I rented a car for four days and it was thanks to a car that my boyfriend and I had lots to do around Socal. It was expensive, and I even gained a freaking parking ticket, but it was well worth it in the end. I was at first intimidated driving in the streets of LA, but when I realized that my aggressive driving personality actually fit in with the crazy drivers there, I no longer seemed scared. But it did make me think back on all the times my dad drove. How I used to beg my mom if I could sit in the shotgun seat, for the sole purpose of reading signs and talking to my dad about driving and cars. So a lot of these streets around K-town (Western, Pico, Olympic, etc.) were very familiar to me even though it's been so long since I've been there. And as I got older, my dad and I would play the ETA (estimated time of arrival) game. I would calculate in my head the time it would take for the remaining number of miles left in the journey. After some practice, I got really good at it, but never as good as my dad. Then again, he can always control the speed at which he is driving, so he always won... -__- Anyway, driving around LA really made me appreciate my dad and what he did for us for our annual trips to LA. My dad still drives a lot, since he's a taxi driver in Vegas, but I know his driving lifestyle is slowly coming to an end as he is getting older and older. And even the last time I went to LA in my senior year of high school, my dad let me drive the whole way. I don't know when my family will make another trip out since it's hard to get all five of us in the same city for a long period of time, but I just know that my dad won't be responsible for all the driving anymore. It's a sad realization... but I'm just grateful for my dad for being my dad. For being a hero in my family.

4. And K-town. Koreatown was always the place my family went to year after year. We went there because back then, Vegas didn't have a major Korean supermarket and if we wanted to buy anything, it was always so much more expensive than in LA. So my parents, would save up money and then we would spend so much. Usually we were in K-town anywhere from 1-2 days, so we really went crazy with shopping. I remember going to Assi one time and my parents stocked up three carts full and spent more than a thousand dollars in total. I remember being so excited to be in LA, but at the same time, so bored that I had to always follow my parents around. My siblings and I ended up creating our own games and causing mischief around the stores. I still remember times we would attempt to play hide-and-seek inside one of those really cramped and small Korean stores. Or the times we would go up and down the elevator inside Koreatown Mall because it was see through and was the coolest thing ever. Back then they had a humungous music store, and by the time I was around 5-7th grade, I would go there with the sole purpose of listening to all the techno and trance and K-pop CDs. And after tons of begging, my mom would finally let me buy some of the CDs. Before the iPod age, I had a CD player, and after buying those CDs, I would always listen to the entire album multiple times on our trip back to Vegas. I'm so sad that the music store no longer exists in the mall, and the mall has gone through lots of renovation since a decade ago. 

5. Classical music. Everytime I'd be driving around, my boyfriend and I would go through all the radio stations trying to find a good one to listen to. It was too bad neither of us had an auxiliary cable to use, so all we had was the radio. There were many times we would stop at the classical station because nothing else was good. But it made me so happy knowing that I can share my love for classical music with him, who is also a classical music fanatic. It reminded me of all those times when my dad would ONLY make us listen to classical music. We weren't ever allowed to change it. And when we were passing through different districts and areas of California, my dad would always have to find a different station that had classical music. Our car was always filled with the same kind of music but because of that, it has definitely shaped my experiences when traveling to LA. I also remember during my angsty middle school years, I was so annoyed with the constant classical music that was playing in the car that I always brought my CD player along with me so I could blast K-pop or techno music to drown out the sounds of the "mundane" strings. This time around, however, listening to classical music felt so peaceful. I felt at home. It made me wish that my dad and the rest of my family was in the car with me. I miss all the times my dad would lecture me about a composer or a piece of music he recognized. I miss all the times I tried to change the radio station and my dad would hit my hand haha. 

Of course I had lots of new memories that I made this time around, like hiking at Runyon Canyon and Escondido Falls in Malibu, walking around Hollywood Blvd and spending time in Santa Monica Beach and Pier. And I'm glad I have new memories because I know that if I ever visit these places again in the future, I'll have something to base my experience off of. 

I wanted to continue hating on Socal because I've been doing that for so long, especially during my high school years. And even though those feelings may still hold to be true, I finally get to remember that it was LA where I formed lots of great memories. All the theme parks I've been, to shopping in K-town, to going to the beaches and more. I'm so thankful for this trip because I've learned to appreciate lots of things. 

Annual family trips and school trips with friends are over. It makes me so sad to think that a big chapter in my life has closed... but I'm excited for what this new one has to offer. I don't know when I'll be back in Socal, but I'll make sure to look forward to it because all of my trips to LA are awesome. 

'Til next time.