October 14, 2012

  • october stress

    It's funny when you look back at all of my October posts in the previous years, it mentions being screwed for an upcoming competition, every single time. 

    Reading back on how my past few October's have been spent are making me nostalgic. I remember being in middle school and having to practice extra hard for MTNA. Back when my mom was in pretty much complete control of my life. I was under "house arrest" for that month, so I had to deny all birthday party invitations and other hangouts that I received from friends. It was a miserable month and I hated October for it. This was still somewhat true in high school, and I remember back when every single teenager had to visit Frightdome at Circus Circus, I wasn't able to go my freshman year and I snuck out of the house to go my sophomore year. 
    October was all about cramming in a whole program's worth of music, feeling nervous and screwed. I felt as though I didn't have enoug hours in a day. It was extremely difficult in high school because I had cross country meets on top of practicing piano as well as Key Club RTC and Homecoming (games and dances). 
    And you know... that feeling has never completely left me. In fact, I feel just as screwed this year, my 8th year of competing in MTNA in a row. Except now I have other worries - working to pay the rent, leadership roles at church and in AAIV, just living an independent life in general. 
    October is the month where I literally start counting down the days until D-day. Panicking, panicking, panicking...
    And then in just a matter of half an hour's worth of performance time, it's all over. All of that hours of practicing (and cramming in)... for the past 7 years, the end result has always been successful - 1st place and getting to advance onto regionals. 
    And always, always... 
    November was the chillest, most relaxing month of the year. Well.. maybe except for senior year and stupid college apps, haha. But that feeling of freedom and stress exiting my mind the week after the competition was always the greatest feeling. This year, I can't wait for November, because I get to have my relaxation in NYC for a week. I don't care if I'm skipping three days of school for it (I'm only missing three classes total, thank God for a light schedule this quarter!). 
    It's crazy to think how many years I've been in this same old cycle. Always with different variables of course, but still.. what a life!
    To conclude this post, only 19 1/2 more days until D-day!~!~!~!!
    BRING IT ON.