Wow. Seven years.

Seven years of making videos, with a growing fan base of 34k subscribers now. Who would've ever thought? 

How I started YouTube is very vague in my memory because it wasn't something I wanted to do intentionally. I discovered YouTube in November 2005 because my best friend at the time wanted me to watch a ridiculous anime clip. On March 2006, I made my own YouTube account since I was watching so many videos there anyway. All throughout middle school I wasted so much of my time watching ridiculous videos on popular websites, like ebaumsworld, i-am-bored, etc. This was before YouTube was even born. And now that everyone and their mothers were posting the same ridiculous videos onto this power website, I had no need to visit the other ones anymore. YouTube was well organized and clean, and had all kinds of genres. 

I stumbled across a bunch of piano covers of popular music which highly interested. Some of the people were decent, and others were well, horrible. I figured I could do something like this, and be better. Furthermore, I wanted to show my friends that I wasn't just about classical music. That I CAN play other types of music. I wasn't very popular in middle school because I was not the typical girl who had slumber parties and painted nails and went shopping at malls with their girlfriends. I resorted to online video games and made online friends. I read books and practiced piano. By the end of middle school, I did have a few close friends, but I believed that the online friends I made were, at times, more valuable. Maybe that's why I was so intrigued by the YouTube online community. 

On June 10, 2006, I recorded three videos back to back. Every Heart, Because I'm a Girl, and Kiss the Rain. They were easy pieces for me, pieces that I can just sightread. I had no idea about how to record or what angle I should use except for the fact that all I had to do was press the record button to start. And that evening, I uploaded the first of three. 

In high school, I was not only known as the pianist who won competitions around Vegas, but also as the "YouTube girl." I had lots of great friends who cared about me and supported me. And by senior year, I started to meet some of my YouTube fans in person, who are now some of the greatest people I've ever met. 

It became weird in college because by the time I entered Northwestern, my YouTube channel was already 4 years old. I made friends who had already discovered my videos in the past, which was kind of crazy. It felt so different from high school because my high school friends actually grew up with me and my YouTube channel. On another note, I was getting interviews here and there from journalism students regarding my YouTube channel. My journey with YouTube at my new school didn't feel as personal anymore because no one here really knew me.

And the biggest reason why things started to get weird for me is because YouTube was no longer the community that I once knew. It's no longer about uploading raw videos to share your passions and interest. Nowadays, you NEED to have high quality video and audio for your videos to attract attention. What used to be a fun hobby for most people is now a professional career for the "YouTube celebrities." People make accounts for the SOLE purpose of becoming famous. It's all about promotions. It's all about having a high production crew and agents to help you out logistically, financially, etc. YouTube celebrities now go on worldwide tours. 

I almost fell into the addiction of achieving fame. At one point between senior year of high school and sophomore year of college, I wanted to be famous on YouTube. I was so dedicated to coming out with the best videos. I even got a high quality mp3 recorder to boost my sound quality. I started making my own arrangements of pieces instead of doing "boring" covers that everyone can easily do. It started to take up so much of my time. When I could be bonding with the new friends I made in college, I was stuck in Lutkin Hall for hours on end trying to capture the perfect video. I also admit that at times, I cried in frustration and threw fits when things didn't go my way during a recording/editing session. 

I finally asked myself, "Why am I doing something that is clearly not making me happy?" The only time I was ever happy was when my subscriber count was going up or when people were leaving me nice comments. I agree that they can be nice ways to motivate yourself to come out with videos, but that shouldn't be your only source of happiness. What I was doing was no longer a fun hobby for me -- it became a mundane routine that I felt obligated to do. And ultimately, I realized that fame wasn't going to bring me ultimate happiness. It's great that I have so many wonderful fans supporting me from all over the world, but the people that are going to impact me the most are the ones closest to me. As a result, at some point in college, I experienced loneliness. And I believe that many celebrities experience this, too. You have so many people supporting you... but not one of them really knows who you are or cares about you on a deeper, personal level. The people that were once your closest friends knew you very well... but because you didn't spend any time with them, they became lost. 

In efforts to turn myself around, I went on a long hiatus from YouTube, which is still continuing to this day. I decided to focus on my real life. I've always had my passion focused on classical music, but now I love it more than ever. I have great friends here at Northwestern, and I still want to keep the best of friends I made in high school. 

Currently, I am "Princess Sherry" of the Super Piano Brothers. In professional terms, I am like their producer and secretary. I helped launch their YouTube channel on my birthday, MAR10 day this year. They have been doing really well and are currently looking into doing more talent competitions when opportunities arise. I've been able to perform with them in big events like ECAASU and APAHM which has been an amazing experience. In some ways, I feel like I'm living vicariously by helping Tiedan and Wesley achieve recognition and fame as the Super Piano Brothers. It's almost ironic to how I feel about my own YouTube channel. 

Although I am saddened by the fact that I do not have time to continue making videos, I am happy that it happened in these past seven years. I am happy for all the great YouTube musicians I have become friends with, who have become like my family (I'm talking about you guys, Kyle, Joanna, Andrew, Julian, Lara, and more, of course!), for all of the great collaborations I've done, for all the opportunities I've had to share my passion in video game and anime music. And most importantly, I am forever grateful for everyone's support in these past years. I am forever grateful for the fans who became inspired to learn or re-learn the piano because of my videos. At this point, I can't even imagine what my life would look like without my YouTube channel. It has become such an integral part of my life (1/3 of my life is definitely a significant portion). And I want to apologize to those who have been waiting patiently for a new video to come out. It's been a very enjoyable journey. I don't want to tell myself that this is the end... because who knows. Maybe I might find the chance to re-inspire myself one of these days. 

Wow. Seven years.

Seven years of making videos, with a growing fan base of 34k subscribers now. Who would've ever thought? 

How I started YouTube is very vague in my memory because it wasn't something I wanted to do intentionally. I discovered YouTube in November 2005 because my best friend at the time wanted me to watch a ridiculous anime clip. On March 2006, I made my own YouTube account since I was watching so many videos there anyway. All throughout middle school I wasted so much of my time watching ridiculous videos on popular websites, like ebaumsworld, i-am-bored, etc. This was before YouTube was even born. And now that everyone and their mothers were posting the same ridiculous videos onto this power website, I had no need to visit the other ones anymore. YouTube was well organized and clean, and had all kinds of genres. 

I stumbled across a bunch of piano covers of popular music which highly interested. Some of the people were decent, and others were well, horrible. I figured I could do something like this, and be better. Furthermore, I wanted to show my friends that I wasn't just about classical music. That I CAN play other types of music. I wasn't very popular in middle school because I was not the typical girl who had slumber parties and painted nails and went shopping at malls with their girlfriends. I resorted to online video games and made online friends. I read books and practiced piano. By the end of middle school, I did have a few close friends, but I believed that the online friends I made were, at times, more valuable. Maybe that's why I was so intrigued by the YouTube online community. 

On June 10, 2006, I recorded three videos back to back. Every Heart, Because I'm a Girl, and Kiss the Rain. They were easy pieces for me, pieces that I can just sightread. I had no idea about how to record or what angle I should use except for the fact that all I had to do was press the record button to start. And that evening, I uploaded the first of three. 

In high school, I was not only known as the pianist who won competitions around Vegas, but also as the "YouTube girl." I had lots of great friends who cared about me and supported me. And by senior year, I started to meet some of my YouTube fans in person, who are now some of the greatest people I've ever met. 

It became weird in college because by the time I entered Northwestern, my YouTube channel was already 4 years old. I made friends who had already discovered my videos in the past, which was kind of crazy. It felt so different from high school because my high school friends actually grew up with me and my YouTube channel. On another note, I was getting interviews here and there from journalism students regarding my YouTube channel. My journey with YouTube at my new school didn't feel as personal anymore because no one here really knew me.

And the biggest reason why things started to get weird for me is because YouTube was no longer the community that I once knew. It's no longer about uploading raw videos to share your passions and interest. Nowadays, you NEED to have high quality video and audio for your videos to attract attention. What used to be a fun hobby for most people is now a professional career for the "YouTube celebrities." People make accounts for the SOLE purpose of becoming famous. It's all about promotions. It's all about having a high production crew and agents to help you out logistically, financially, etc. YouTube celebrities now go on worldwide tours. 

I almost fell into the addiction of achieving fame. At one point between senior year of high school and sophomore year of college, I wanted to be famous on YouTube. I was so dedicated to coming out with the best videos. I even got a high quality mp3 recorder to boost my sound quality. I started making my own arrangements of pieces instead of doing "boring" covers that everyone can easily do. It started to take up so much of my time. When I could be bonding with the new friends I made in college, I was stuck in Lutkin Hall for hours on end trying to capture the perfect video. I also admit that at times, I cried in frustration and threw fits when things didn't go my way during a recording/editing session. 

I finally asked myself, "Why am I doing something that is clearly not making me happy?" The only time I was ever happy was when my subscriber count was going up or when people were leaving me nice comments. I agree that they can be nice ways to motivate yourself to come out with videos, but that shouldn't be your only source of happiness. What I was doing was no longer a fun hobby for me -- it became a mundane routine that I felt obligated to do. And ultimately, I realized that fame wasn't going to bring me ultimate happiness. It's great that I have so many wonderful fans supporting me from all over the world, but the people that are going to impact me the most are the ones closest to me. As a result, at some point in college, I experienced loneliness. And I believe that many celebrities experience this, too. You have so many people supporting you... but not one of them really knows who you are or cares about you on a deeper, personal level. The people that were once your closest friends knew you very well... but because you didn't spend any time with them, they became lost. 

In efforts to turn myself around, I went on a long hiatus from YouTube, which is still continuing to this day. I decided to focus on my real life. I've always had my passion focused on classical music, but now I love it more than ever. I have great friends here at Northwestern, and I still want to keep the best of friends I made in high school. 

Currently, I am "Princess Sherry" of the Super Piano Brothers. In professional terms, I am like their producer and secretary. I helped launch their YouTube channel on my birthday, MAR10 day this year. They have been doing really well and are currently looking into doing more talent competitions when opportunities arise. I've been able to perform with them in big events like ECAASU and APAHM which has been an amazing experience. In some ways, I feel like I'm living vicariously by helping Tiedan and Wesley achieve recognition and fame as the Super Piano Brothers. It's almost ironic to how I feel about my own YouTube channel. 

Although I am saddened by the fact that I do not have time to continue making videos, I am happy that it happened in these past seven years. I am happy for all the great YouTube musicians I have become friends with, who have become like my family (I'm talking about you guys, Kyle, Joanna, Andrew, Julian, Lara, and more, of course!), for all of the great collaborations I've done, for all the opportunities I've had to share my passion in video game and anime music. And most importantly, I am forever grateful for everyone's support in these past years. I am forever grateful for the fans who became inspired to learn or re-learn the piano because of my videos. At this point, I can't even imagine what my life would look like without my YouTube channel. It has become such an integral part of my life (1/3 of my life is definitely a significant portion). And I want to apologize to those who have been waiting patiently for a new video to come out. It's been a very enjoyable journey. I don't want to tell myself that this is the end... because who knows. Maybe I might find the chance to re-inspire myself one of these days. 

exactly a week ago, i had my first hosted recital at northwestern. it was a piano collaborative recital, and i did it for fun, to be honest. my actual degree requirement junior recital will take place in the beginning of june. i wanted to have this recital for multiple reasons. 1) i had to have one performance of my duo sonata for buccheri's duo collaborative class and one performance of my chamber group for my chamber class. i figured, why not put both performances in one recital, like killing two birds with one stone? and 2) i wanted to know exactly how to host a recital. just in case i screwed this one up (logistically), i know what to do to make my junior recital even better. 

in the first half, i played the debussy cello sonata with wyndham tsai and elgar violin sonata with jonathan yu. i really enjoyed the first half, especially the elgar. practice really paid off for john and i. we rehearsed the most out of my other groups and it really showed during the recital. 

i played brahms piano trio no. 1 in b major for the entire second half. that was what i was scared for the most. that fourth movement! arghh haha. i literally remember feeling like i was losing my focus even by the second movement. it was only after i had finished playing the brahms when i told myself, wow.... brahms is hard. like forrealz. /facepalm

in the end, my recital turned out very smoothly. i had my friends who performed helped buy drinks and utensils so that i don't have to be completely broke when i buy all the main dishes (i still had to pay $80 out of my own wallet for the food.. T.T) there were about 30-40 people in the audience which is a very good size for my first recital and for not even putting up flyers. i'd say a good 2/3's of them were from AAIV/my church. my boss and her two daughters came, and my chamber coach and alan chow, especially since he helped coach the debussy sonata a few times. 

it was the first time anyone from my church or AAIV really heard me perform classical music live, so that was really interesting. it was nice to get positive feedback from my teachers and especially from my friends. 

if there was anything i wish i could fix, i wish i had access to a better camera. -__- my stupid camera always cuts off after 10 minutes, and i can't figure out how to change that setting. and at one point, the camera turned off because it was running out of battery... gg. so i have recordings of parts of my performances. thankfully, the audio portion from dan's mp3 recorder (thanks, dan!) is all there.

i learned a lot from this first experience. i'm just nervous to put one for solo, because i know how much more difficult that's going to be. bahh.

but this is what my junior recital program is going to look like:

scriabin 2nd sonata

symphonic etudes

grieg's violin sonata in c minor (with john yu again).

i'm still learning the notes for all these pieces... and i have roughly two months to put everything together. oh sherry... what are you doing to yourself....

exactly a week ago, i had my first hosted recital at northwestern. it was a piano collaborative recital, and i did it for fun, to be honest. my actual degree requirement junior recital will take place in the beginning of june. i wanted to have this recital for multiple reasons. 1) i had to have one performance of my duo sonata for buccheri's duo collaborative class and one performance of my chamber group for my chamber class. i figured, why not put both performances in one recital, like killing two birds with one stone? and 2) i wanted to know exactly how to host a recital. just in case i screwed this one up (logistically), i know what to do to make my junior recital even better. 

in the first half, i played the debussy cello sonata with wyndham tsai and elgar violin sonata with jonathan yu. i really enjoyed the first half, especially the elgar. practice really paid off for john and i. we rehearsed the most out of my other groups and it really showed during the recital. 

i played brahms piano trio no. 1 in b major for the entire second half. that was what i was scared for the most. that fourth movement! arghh haha. i literally remember feeling like i was losing my focus even by the second movement. it was only after i had finished playing the brahms when i told myself, wow.... brahms is hard. like forrealz. /facepalm

in the end, my recital turned out very smoothly. i had my friends who performed helped buy drinks and utensils so that i don't have to be completely broke when i buy all the main dishes (i still had to pay $80 out of my own wallet for the food.. T.T) there were about 30-40 people in the audience which is a very good size for my first recital and for not even putting up flyers. i'd say a good 2/3's of them were from AAIV/my church. my boss and her two daughters came, and my chamber coach and alan chow, especially since he helped coach the debussy sonata a few times. 

it was the first time anyone from my church or AAIV really heard me perform classical music live, so that was really interesting. it was nice to get positive feedback from my teachers and especially from my friends. 

if there was anything i wish i could fix, i wish i had access to a better camera. -__- my stupid camera always cuts off after 10 minutes, and i can't figure out how to change that setting. and at one point, the camera turned off because it was running out of battery... gg. so i have recordings of parts of my performances. thankfully, the audio portion from dan's mp3 recorder (thanks, dan!) is all there.

i learned a lot from this first experience. i'm just nervous to put one for solo, because i know how much more difficult that's going to be. bahh.

but this is what my junior recital program is going to look like:

scriabin 2nd sonata

symphonic etudes

grieg's violin sonata in c minor (with john yu again).

i'm still learning the notes for all these pieces... and i have roughly two months to put everything together. oh sherry... what are you doing to yourself....

wow, what a weekend!

so many great things happened, like:

500+ happy birthday messages from facebook wallposts/messages, texts, calls.

$20 gift card to panda express from my one and only sister.

a surprise gift that has yet to be received by my one and only twinnie, jihye.

the cutest, most adorable powerpoint slideshow made by my one and only love, tiedan.

$25 gift card to CHIPOTLE from my boss, martha yelenosky and her family!

chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies from my cute six-year-old student, william gatchell and his family.

love from my lakeview brothers and sisters. <3

acceptance into ASPEN with kaplinsky, and BANFF with julian martin.

there were also not so awesome things, but hey, it's part of life:

23 hours to my 21st bday. um, excuse daylight savings?!

teaching for five hours.

watching a mandatory NUSCC recital.

studying for my intro to psych final, which was today. 

and i can't forget the party that went down at my apartment the night before my birthday.

my roommate, joanne, and i share the same birthdays. we also have a crazy amount of mutual friends because of aaiv. so we gathered a bunch of juniors and threw a party with lots of booze (mainly vodka, beer and smirnoff ). it was such an interesting situation because i have never drank with my friends from aaiv. furthermore, i haven't drank with anyone at northwestern since october of my freshman year. so it felt very weird... but we played such cute and kiddie games like charades and catchphrase, which was a lot of fun! our only big drinking game of the night was good ol' kings cup, but even that was so cute because more than half the people didn't even know the rules to the game. and some of them, like my other roommate, esther, who isn't 21 yet, drank soda instead of alcohol. so even though there was drinking involved, it was very, very mild, compared to any other parties i've ever been to. and i like it that way.

however, we had a neighbor from the floor below come knock on our door to complain about the noise, and then a bit later, a cop dropped by to ask about the noise. he felt so bad knowing that it was a party with a bunch of asians. we weren't even blasting music at all and he found out that it was our birthdays haha. so instead of being a jerk, he let us off really nicely. but i bet it was that stupid neighbor that called the cops on us. -_-

and right at midnight, everyone sang happy birthday to us.  

'tis was a very sweet birthday, despite all the other complications going on in my life. the real relaxation will begin once i head home next sunday. but so far, it hasn't hit me yet that i'm legal. that i can do all kinds of things and actually be allowed to do it. i guess, maybe, perhaps, it'll all hit me once i see those slot machines the moment i arrive at the mccarran airport in vegas.....

wow, what a weekend!

so many great things happened, like:

500+ happy birthday messages from facebook wallposts/messages, texts, calls.

$20 gift card to panda express from my one and only sister.

a surprise gift that has yet to be received by my one and only twinnie, jihye.

the cutest, most adorable powerpoint slideshow made by my one and only love, tiedan.

$25 gift card to CHIPOTLE from my boss, martha yelenosky and her family!

chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies from my cute six-year-old student, william gatchell and his family.

love from my lakeview brothers and sisters. <3

acceptance into ASPEN with kaplinsky, and BANFF with julian martin.

there were also not so awesome things, but hey, it's part of life:

23 hours to my 21st bday. um, excuse daylight savings?!

teaching for five hours.

watching a mandatory NUSCC recital.

studying for my intro to psych final, which was today. 

and i can't forget the party that went down at my apartment the night before my birthday.

my roommate, joanne, and i share the same birthdays. we also have a crazy amount of mutual friends because of aaiv. so we gathered a bunch of juniors and threw a party with lots of booze (mainly vodka, beer and smirnoff ). it was such an interesting situation because i have never drank with my friends from aaiv. furthermore, i haven't drank with anyone at northwestern since october of my freshman year. so it felt very weird... but we played such cute and kiddie games like charades and catchphrase, which was a lot of fun! our only big drinking game of the night was good ol' kings cup, but even that was so cute because more than half the people didn't even know the rules to the game. and some of them, like my other roommate, esther, who isn't 21 yet, drank soda instead of alcohol. so even though there was drinking involved, it was very, very mild, compared to any other parties i've ever been to. and i like it that way.

however, we had a neighbor from the floor below come knock on our door to complain about the noise, and then a bit later, a cop dropped by to ask about the noise. he felt so bad knowing that it was a party with a bunch of asians. we weren't even blasting music at all and he found out that it was our birthdays haha. so instead of being a jerk, he let us off really nicely. but i bet it was that stupid neighbor that called the cops on us. -_-

and right at midnight, everyone sang happy birthday to us.  

'tis was a very sweet birthday, despite all the other complications going on in my life. the real relaxation will begin once i head home next sunday. but so far, it hasn't hit me yet that i'm legal. that i can do all kinds of things and actually be allowed to do it. i guess, maybe, perhaps, it'll all hit me once i see those slot machines the moment i arrive at the mccarran airport in vegas.....

and i'm not going to like it.  

7 more days until my birthday (which is going to be 6 hours of teaching and mad studying for final)

8 more days until my last intro to psych final gaaah

XX more days until i have to make more recordings

13 more days until my collab recital

14 more days until HOME.

...and then i can breathe for the first time this year.

and i'm not going to like it.  

7 more days until my birthday (which is going to be 6 hours of teaching and mad studying for final)

8 more days until my last intro to psych final gaaah

XX more days until i have to make more recordings

13 more days until my collab recital

14 more days until HOME.

...and then i can breathe for the first time this year.

calling on 8! calling on 8!

8 more days until my birthday!!

keke. i just had to say that to keep up with a decade old tradition. wow. it's been a decade since i've started this....

calling on 8! calling on 8!

8 more days until my birthday!!

keke. i just had to say that to keep up with a decade old tradition. wow. it's been a decade since i've started this....